1
00:00:01,938 --> 00:00:03,796
Hey, Esther. Is the
Internet back up yet?
2
00:00:03,821 --> 00:00:06,203
No. I'm getting zero
connection on my nanny cam.
3
00:00:06,610 --> 00:00:07,726
Wait, you have a kid?
4
00:00:07,719 --> 00:00:09,631
No, for my nanny.
5
00:00:09,656 --> 00:00:13,070
I have no idea what she does
all day when I'm not there.
6
00:00:14,559 --> 00:00:18,094
Probably trying to chew
through the restraints?
7
00:00:18,671 --> 00:00:19,996
Hey, guys.
8
00:00:19,998 --> 00:00:22,465
Thank you for all the
articles you submitted.
9
00:00:22,906 --> 00:00:25,168
I looked them over and
decided to get you coffees.
10
00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:27,804
Sweetheart alert.
11
00:00:28,460 --> 00:00:31,341
Because we are gonna stay
here and improve your articles
12
00:00:31,343 --> 00:00:33,376
by starting from scratch.
13
00:00:33,378 --> 00:00:36,185
Come on, Jack, it's Friday
night. They all have plans.
14
00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:38,848
Yeah, I'm supposed to go
visit my sick Aunt Becky.
15
00:00:38,850 --> 00:00:41,318
And Greg and I are going to
an event at the planetarium.
16
00:00:41,343 --> 00:00:45,054
No way. I am also going to that thing.
17
00:00:45,406 --> 00:00:48,458
You're going to my boyfriend's
high school reunion?
18
00:00:48,460 --> 00:00:50,293
Sh... yeah...
19
00:00:50,295 --> 00:00:52,829
None of us are going to Greg's reunion.
20
00:00:52,937 --> 00:00:54,725
Outdoor Limits has standards,
21
00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:57,567
which are not being met by articles like
22
00:00:57,569 --> 00:01:00,804
�Nature Has Geysers,
But What About Girlsers?�
23
00:01:03,218 --> 00:01:04,615
But we can't work tonight.
24
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,021
The Internet's down.
25
00:01:06,046 --> 00:01:08,444
Is it even safe to be in
this building right now?
26
00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:10,984
The Internet is down
because Brooke refuses
27
00:01:10,977 --> 00:01:13,976
to tell our I.T. guy
that he sucks at his job.
28
00:01:14,001 --> 00:01:15,746
Come on, that's a bit harsh.
29
00:01:15,748 --> 00:01:18,749
You're right. Someone look up
a nicer word than �sucks.�
30
00:01:18,751 --> 00:01:20,584
Oh, that's right, we
can't. The Internet's down
31
00:01:20,586 --> 00:01:22,820
because he sucks at his job.
32
00:01:22,822 --> 00:01:26,148
His name is Ricky, and he's
trying as hard as he can.
33
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:29,493
To do what? Smell like vegetable
soup and touch your hair?
34
00:01:29,495 --> 00:01:31,862
Because those are the
only things he's good at.
35
00:01:31,864 --> 00:01:33,931
All right, Ricky might
be an incompetent weirdo
36
00:01:33,933 --> 00:01:36,934
who lords his job over
everyone, but bear in mind,
37
00:01:36,936 --> 00:01:39,837
I just described every I.T. guy ever.
38
00:01:48,092 --> 00:01:49,692
Hey, everybody.
39
00:01:51,729 --> 00:01:54,102
Just fixed your Internet.
40
00:01:54,551 --> 00:01:56,015
- MASON: Rick!
- Ricardo!
41
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,643
I-I don't smell soup.
42
00:01:59,625 --> 00:02:01,525
Y-You've been up there
the whole time, have you?
43
00:02:01,527 --> 00:02:02,727
- Yeah.
- A-And you heard, uh...
44
00:02:02,729 --> 00:02:04,395
- Every word.
- Right.
45
00:02:04,397 --> 00:02:05,846
Every word.
46
00:02:08,245 --> 00:02:10,334
Brooke, I left behind a lucrative career
47
00:02:10,336 --> 00:02:13,807
in revenge porn to work
here, because you assured me
48
00:02:13,832 --> 00:02:15,732
this was a family environment.
49
00:02:15,808 --> 00:02:17,708
We are a family,
50
00:02:17,710 --> 00:02:20,544
and I'm sorry, and none of
that was on his r?sum?.
51
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:24,181
No. I want an apology from Jack.
52
00:02:24,183 --> 00:02:27,084
Ricky, I'm sorry...
53
00:02:27,086 --> 00:02:28,800
Thank you. ...but
that's not gonna happen
54
00:02:28,825 --> 00:02:30,925
because you are terrible at your job.
55
00:02:31,482 --> 00:02:32,857
You know what?
56
00:02:33,349 --> 00:02:34,349
I quit.
57
00:02:34,374 --> 00:02:38,776
You all have grossly underestimated me.
58
00:02:40,079 --> 00:02:45,215
Until Jack tells me he's
sorry, you'll all be sorry.
59
00:02:45,802 --> 00:02:47,224
BROOKE: Oh, nice one, Jack.
60
00:02:47,249 --> 00:02:50,250
You've just lost us our
I.T. guy and three staplers.
61
00:02:50,312 --> 00:02:51,745
Why would you say those things?
62
00:02:51,770 --> 00:02:53,069
Because it was the truth.
63
00:02:53,094 --> 00:02:55,294
And it tickled me.
64
00:02:55,681 --> 00:02:57,904
Well, we would never say
anything bad about anyone.
65
00:02:57,920 --> 00:02:59,820
Look, I am direct with people
66
00:02:59,822 --> 00:03:01,755
because it helps them get better.
67
00:03:01,757 --> 00:03:03,924
Now, you write better articles,
68
00:03:03,926 --> 00:03:05,993
and Brooke can pick a better I.T. guy,
69
00:03:06,033 --> 00:03:08,103
and Ricky can get back to,
70
00:03:08,128 --> 00:03:12,299
I assume, collecting
eyelashes in women's restrooms.
71
00:03:12,301 --> 00:03:13,927
[phones chiming and buzzing]
72
00:03:13,952 --> 00:03:15,251
MALE VOICE: You've got mail.
73
00:03:15,838 --> 00:03:17,404
You're still on AOL?
74
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:20,985
Name another place that you
can get your own e-mail address
75
00:03:21,010 --> 00:03:23,667
for less than $29.99 a month.
76
00:03:25,543 --> 00:03:26,943
Oh, it's from Ricky.
77
00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:29,879
�Apologize, or this
won't be the last.�
78
00:03:29,881 --> 00:03:31,747
It's a huge batch of
our personal e-mails
79
00:03:31,749 --> 00:03:32,849
from the work server.
80
00:03:32,851 --> 00:03:34,584
EMMA: So now any of us
81
00:03:34,586 --> 00:03:37,660
can read what any of
us has written about...
82
00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:39,385
any of us?
83
00:03:40,625 --> 00:03:42,158
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
84
00:03:43,495 --> 00:03:47,597
EMMA, CLARK and MASON: Wait. Why
did you say, �Oh, God�?
85
00:03:47,622 --> 00:03:50,923
Well, Jack. Thanks to you,
we are now the victims of...
86
00:03:51,472 --> 00:03:53,355
Ricky Leaks.
87
00:03:55,113 --> 00:03:58,541
We're not gonna actually
call it that, are we?
88
00:03:58,543 --> 00:03:59,542
[eagle screeches]
89
00:03:59,544 --> 00:04:01,010
90
00:04:01,034 --> 00:04:04,224
Synced and corrected by javiernv
www.addic7ed.com
91
00:04:04,249 --> 00:04:06,682
[phone ringing]
92
00:04:10,864 --> 00:04:13,031
Okay, so we were all just sent a batch
93
00:04:13,033 --> 00:04:14,799
of each other's personal e-mails.
94
00:04:14,801 --> 00:04:17,369
This is a bit of a
sticky situation... ooh.
95
00:04:17,371 --> 00:04:18,570
Sticky Leaks.
96
00:04:19,339 --> 00:04:20,972
No. Take that back.
97
00:04:21,653 --> 00:04:23,566
Guys, what is there to worry about?
98
00:04:23,591 --> 00:04:26,047
I would never write anything I
wouldn't say to someone's face.
99
00:04:26,072 --> 00:04:28,806
And you guys never make
fun of anyone, right?
100
00:04:31,718 --> 00:04:33,418
- EMMA: Right.
- Of course not.
101
00:04:33,420 --> 00:04:35,320
Clark's a sweet boy.
102
00:04:35,322 --> 00:04:37,322
Well, then, there's nothing here to see.
103
00:04:37,324 --> 00:04:39,831
So let's just delete Ricky's e-mail,
104
00:04:39,856 --> 00:04:43,836
and focus on what's really
embarrassing: your work.
105
00:04:46,282 --> 00:04:47,465
He's right, guys.
106
00:04:47,467 --> 00:04:49,567
I mean, what do we have
to hide from each other,
107
00:04:49,569 --> 00:04:51,436
other than... orange soda?
108
00:04:51,438 --> 00:04:52,904
[gasps]
109
00:04:53,375 --> 00:04:54,439
Yeah.
110
00:04:54,441 --> 00:04:56,207
We're totally fine.
111
00:04:56,209 --> 00:04:59,007
Except for Operation Jail Break.
112
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,546
Right. Hi.
113
00:05:01,548 --> 00:05:03,281
But also there's...
114
00:05:03,774 --> 00:05:06,942
Emma, I need to speak to
you in private immediately.
115
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:08,953
After you, milady.
116
00:05:08,955 --> 00:05:10,655
[chuckles]
117
00:05:10,657 --> 00:05:12,791
Crap!
118
00:05:12,793 --> 00:05:14,991
I talked about how I'm in
love with Emma in an e-mail.
119
00:05:15,016 --> 00:05:16,795
- Who was the e-mail to?
- My barber.
120
00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:18,116
Former barber.
121
00:05:18,141 --> 00:05:20,208
Something about boundaries.
122
00:05:21,535 --> 00:05:23,068
Clark, what the hell?
What was that about?
123
00:05:23,070 --> 00:05:26,172
I don't know. What was
�orange soda� about?
124
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:36,086
Seems like we've all
got something to hide.
125
00:05:36,969 --> 00:05:39,944
Question is, which one
of us is crazy enough
126
00:05:39,969 --> 00:05:41,586
to make the first move?
127
00:05:41,588 --> 00:05:43,221
Well, I know I'm curious.
128
00:05:43,223 --> 00:05:44,936
So let's do this like Christmas Eve.
129
00:05:44,961 --> 00:05:48,126
Everyone gets to open one e-mail.
130
00:05:48,128 --> 00:05:50,261
No. No.
131
00:05:50,263 --> 00:05:51,796
No, no, no.
132
00:05:51,798 --> 00:05:53,264
We have too much work to do.
133
00:05:53,490 --> 00:05:55,624
Joke's on you, I was
wearing my glasses...
134
00:05:55,649 --> 00:05:56,945
Damn it.
135
00:05:57,297 --> 00:05:58,570
E-mails.
136
00:05:58,572 --> 00:06:00,338
Drag them to your trash.
137
00:06:00,340 --> 00:06:01,883
Now.
138
00:06:02,409 --> 00:06:04,542
Now, Brooke and I will
go get you guys dinner,
139
00:06:04,544 --> 00:06:06,010
while you rewrite the articles.
140
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:07,657
- Esther!
- Yeah.
141
00:06:07,682 --> 00:06:09,136
[shouts]
142
00:06:09,316 --> 00:06:12,968
Uh, any of these guys try
to leave, light them up.
143
00:06:12,993 --> 00:06:15,587
Ah, that's okay, Jack. I brought my own.
144
00:06:18,618 --> 00:06:20,076
EDDIE: An e-mail scandal.
145
00:06:20,173 --> 00:06:23,140
I can only imagine all the stuff
everyone wrote about old Eddie.
146
00:06:23,142 --> 00:06:25,125
[laughs] Wow.
147
00:06:25,150 --> 00:06:26,180
Oh, I don't think anyone...
148
00:06:26,205 --> 00:06:27,594
Hey, don't tell me.
149
00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:30,381
Okay, tell me one thing
they said about me.
150
00:06:30,383 --> 00:06:32,149
Oh. No, we trashed the file
151
00:06:32,174 --> 00:06:33,946
before we read the e-mails.
152
00:06:35,221 --> 00:06:36,649
Sure you did.
153
00:06:38,191 --> 00:06:39,990
[chuckles]
154
00:06:39,992 --> 00:06:42,927
You couldn't have just
apologized to Ricky, could you?
155
00:06:42,929 --> 00:06:44,929
Oh, no, I-I could've.
156
00:06:44,931 --> 00:06:46,897
You don't always have
to be brutally honest.
157
00:06:46,899 --> 00:06:50,568
I mean, do you know how I got the
title of �Cool Beans Boss�?
158
00:06:50,570 --> 00:06:52,303
Who told you that?
159
00:06:52,430 --> 00:06:54,329
'Cause it was very cruel.
160
00:06:54,807 --> 00:06:56,674
It's because I pay
attention to their feelings
161
00:06:56,676 --> 00:06:58,576
and I've earned their trust.
162
00:06:58,578 --> 00:07:01,274
Why do you think Mason opened up
to me about his sick Aunt Becky?
163
00:07:01,299 --> 00:07:03,633
- I'll stick to telling the truth.
- Really?
164
00:07:03,850 --> 00:07:05,783
Well, you seem to go out
of your way to hide the fact
165
00:07:05,785 --> 00:07:07,351
that we once slept together.
166
00:07:07,542 --> 00:07:09,687
And, frankly, I just
want to see Clark's face.
167
00:07:09,689 --> 00:07:11,255
[laughs]
168
00:07:11,257 --> 00:07:12,714
Doesn't count, wasn't work.
169
00:07:12,739 --> 00:07:15,340
Eh, it was a little bit of work.
170
00:07:16,581 --> 00:07:18,329
Okay, so I get a little floppy
171
00:07:18,331 --> 00:07:20,798
when I mix rum and
over-the-counter nasal spray.
172
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,601
Oh, you were also on that
combination in the morning.
173
00:07:23,603 --> 00:07:25,236
[chuckles]
174
00:07:25,238 --> 00:07:26,770
So.
175
00:07:26,772 --> 00:07:28,573
What did people say about me?
176
00:07:30,309 --> 00:07:33,477
All right, across the
board, everyone agrees.
177
00:07:33,690 --> 00:07:36,487
You're really good at slicing limes.
178
00:07:37,717 --> 00:07:39,542
Okay, cool.
179
00:07:45,191 --> 00:07:46,624
[elevator bell dings]
180
00:07:46,626 --> 00:07:47,892
Esther, what are you doing?
181
00:07:47,894 --> 00:07:49,276
I told you to keep an eye on everyone.
182
00:07:49,301 --> 00:07:51,862
I was, and then I heard
there was a juicy e-mail leak.
183
00:07:51,864 --> 00:07:55,065
Did you know that Brooke
is Roland's daughter?
184
00:08:02,956 --> 00:08:04,400
BROOKE: Jack, when you told these guys
185
00:08:04,425 --> 00:08:06,076
to put their e-mails in the trash,
186
00:08:06,078 --> 00:08:08,479
you did make sure they
emptied their trash?
187
00:08:09,761 --> 00:08:13,317
I'm suddenly realizing I don't
know much about computers.
188
00:08:17,824 --> 00:08:20,491
Guys, did you read the electronic mails?
189
00:08:20,516 --> 00:08:22,850
Why don't you ask
190
00:08:22,852 --> 00:08:24,452
the narc who rats me out to Brooke
191
00:08:24,454 --> 00:08:25,853
every time I'm late to work?
192
00:08:25,995 --> 00:08:27,955
Tough talk from the
woman who e-mailed Clark
193
00:08:27,957 --> 00:08:29,757
about how cheap I am,
194
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,627
just because sometimes I
return milk after trying it out.
195
00:08:33,268 --> 00:08:34,033
CLARK: Well, I found out
196
00:08:34,058 --> 00:08:36,546
�orange soda� was
a clever, secret code
197
00:08:36,571 --> 00:08:40,173
for something that actually
meant... orange soda.
198
00:08:40,393 --> 00:08:43,694
Mason took an unfortunate
photo of me opening a can...
199
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:47,174
...and ever since then,
200
00:08:47,176 --> 00:08:48,909
these two have been e-mailing each other
201
00:08:48,911 --> 00:08:51,445
hilarious Photoshopped pictures.
202
00:08:57,245 --> 00:09:01,581
Guys, it is unacceptable that
you spend work hours on this,
203
00:09:01,636 --> 00:09:04,464
and not share it with me, I mean...
204
00:09:05,167 --> 00:09:07,161
Are you honestly enjoying this?
205
00:09:07,163 --> 00:09:08,462
Oh, big-time.
206
00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:10,540
You see, the Muppet Babies here
207
00:09:10,565 --> 00:09:12,609
act all high and
mighty, but it turns out,
208
00:09:12,634 --> 00:09:15,132
they're even more critical
of each other than I am.
209
00:09:15,157 --> 00:09:17,004
They just share it
behind each other's backs,
210
00:09:17,006 --> 00:09:19,940
which is so much worse.
211
00:09:21,821 --> 00:09:24,945
Incoming call from RickyThelTGuy.
212
00:09:24,947 --> 00:09:26,773
Uh, Emma, I actually remember
213
00:09:26,798 --> 00:09:27,815
what I wanted to talk to you about,
214
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,183
so if we could just go this way.
215
00:09:29,185 --> 00:09:31,752
[chuckles] After you, milady.
216
00:09:31,754 --> 00:09:34,121
Jack! You have got to apologize to Ricky
217
00:09:34,123 --> 00:09:35,256
before he releases something
218
00:09:35,258 --> 00:09:36,557
that makes Emma realize I like her.
219
00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:39,126
I'm not gonna lie to Ricky
about how sorry I feel
220
00:09:39,128 --> 00:09:41,529
just to support your kindergarten crush.
221
00:09:41,531 --> 00:09:43,431
So you won't do this one thing for me?
222
00:09:43,433 --> 00:09:45,966
Because I can't have Emma
see what I wrote to my barber.
223
00:09:45,968 --> 00:09:48,202
[gasps] Or my dentist.
224
00:09:49,238 --> 00:09:51,005
Clark, what is happening?
225
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,006
Greetings.
226
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,474
I hope you all enjoyed
227
00:09:53,476 --> 00:09:56,811
my explosive e-mail dump.
228
00:09:56,813 --> 00:09:59,246
Had to be a better way to say that.
229
00:09:59,248 --> 00:10:01,087
Are you ready to apologize, Gordon?
230
00:10:01,112 --> 00:10:02,321
Not a chance.
231
00:10:02,346 --> 00:10:04,767
Outdoor Limits does
not negotiate with terrorists
232
00:10:04,792 --> 00:10:07,439
or guys that look like
butterscotch Abe Lincoln.
233
00:10:07,990 --> 00:10:08,989
That's it!
234
00:10:08,991 --> 00:10:10,891
My next dump is about to commence,
235
00:10:10,893 --> 00:10:14,985
and I promise you, it is
way bigger than my last dump.
236
00:10:16,048 --> 00:10:18,982
Do you not hear how gross you sound?
237
00:10:19,007 --> 00:10:20,634
[phones chiming and buzzing]
238
00:10:20,636 --> 00:10:22,303
MALE VOICE: You've got mail.
239
00:10:22,931 --> 00:10:25,339
Okay, no one check those e-mails.
240
00:10:25,341 --> 00:10:26,674
We've already learned
enough hurtful stuff
241
00:10:26,676 --> 00:10:27,875
about each other for one day.
242
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,510
No, let's get it out in the open
243
00:10:29,512 --> 00:10:30,711
and put it behind us.
244
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:32,279
Everybody dig in.
245
00:10:32,281 --> 00:10:34,281
[exhales] No sign of my barber.
246
00:10:34,283 --> 00:10:36,951
[chuckles] Guys, we gonna be all right.
247
00:10:36,953 --> 00:10:38,786
Emma makes more money than me?
248
00:10:38,788 --> 00:10:40,688
I've been working here
way longer than you.
249
00:10:40,690 --> 00:10:43,090
You think I'm the weak
link on our kickball team?
250
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,127
You guys have a kickball team?
251
00:10:47,363 --> 00:10:48,796
Yes.
252
00:10:49,196 --> 00:10:51,110
Let it all out.
253
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:54,401
I am growing stronger.
254
00:10:55,376 --> 00:10:58,372
You guys talk about how many
times a day I say �literally�?
255
00:10:58,374 --> 00:10:59,807
You guys have a list of reasons
256
00:10:59,809 --> 00:11:01,603
why Emma might be the Zodiac Killer?
257
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,611
I never responded to
that friendly Nigerian's
258
00:11:03,613 --> 00:11:05,595
money-making proposal?
259
00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:07,982
Okay, I am stopping this.
260
00:11:07,984 --> 00:11:11,226
Thank you. Thank you.
And don't encourage them.
261
00:11:11,251 --> 00:11:13,053
You wouldn't want to hear
this stuff about yourself.
262
00:11:13,055 --> 00:11:14,455
Look, if that's how people really feel,
263
00:11:14,457 --> 00:11:15,921
- I'd be glad to know it.
- Okay.
264
00:11:15,946 --> 00:11:18,259
Read this one. �Jack's a Disappointment�
265
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,161
Oh, crap.
266
00:11:20,163 --> 00:11:21,729
I don't think this is a good idea.
267
00:11:21,731 --> 00:11:23,197
You know what is a good idea?
268
00:11:23,199 --> 00:11:25,800
Let's rub magnets on
all of our computers!
269
00:11:25,802 --> 00:11:28,035
- Sent from Clark.
- Clark Mackatu?
270
00:11:28,037 --> 00:11:30,304
The security guard? That
guy is a loose cannon.
271
00:11:30,306 --> 00:11:32,206
I'm just gonna turn
this thing off and...
272
00:11:32,208 --> 00:11:35,709
�Always been my dream to
work under Jack Gordon�
273
00:11:35,711 --> 00:11:37,845
Dude, this better not turn erotic.
274
00:11:37,847 --> 00:11:41,685
�And his criticism has
made me a better writer�
275
00:11:41,710 --> 00:11:44,318
Esther, where are those magnets?!
276
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:48,088
�But you see, Mother,"
277
00:11:48,090 --> 00:11:51,559
�he only cares about my
work when it benefits him."
278
00:11:51,832 --> 00:11:54,895
�That selfish jerk would
never do a thing for me."
279
00:11:55,472 --> 00:11:57,998
�P.S. To respond to
your original e-mail,"
280
00:11:58,621 --> 00:12:01,302
"I would go with the blue bikini�"
281
00:12:03,239 --> 00:12:04,839
Jack, I know how that sounded...
282
00:12:04,864 --> 00:12:06,240
N-No, you're right.
283
00:12:06,242 --> 00:12:08,489
That blue bikini was slammin'.
284
00:12:09,045 --> 00:12:11,679
But you wrote all this
other stuff a long time ago.
285
00:12:11,681 --> 00:12:13,614
True dat, true dat.
286
00:12:13,616 --> 00:12:17,161
But, uh, a minute ago, I asked
for your help and you refused,
287
00:12:17,411 --> 00:12:20,855
so I kind of have to agree
with Past Clark on this one.
288
00:12:20,857 --> 00:12:23,557
Clark, it's fine. I'm not
one of those people that can
289
00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:25,395
[voice breaking]: dish
it out but can't take it.
290
00:12:26,362 --> 00:12:28,329
See you later.
291
00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:34,468
Guys, Jack may not be
as cool beans as I am,
292
00:12:34,470 --> 00:12:37,849
but he still deserves the
same amount of respect.
293
00:12:38,107 --> 00:12:40,802
Hang on. �Operation Jail Break:
294
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:42,720
�Top Fifty Ways to Get Brooke
295
00:12:42,745 --> 00:12:44,211
- to Give You a Day Off�?
- MASON: Uh, so it's settled!
296
00:12:44,213 --> 00:12:45,479
We'll delete all the e-mails
297
00:12:45,481 --> 00:12:47,047
and put this terrible day behind us.
298
00:12:47,049 --> 00:12:50,451
To Clark and Emma from Mason.
299
00:12:50,453 --> 00:12:52,786
Mason Mackatu?
300
00:12:52,788 --> 00:12:55,556
The security guard?
301
00:12:55,558 --> 00:12:57,989
�Number one, invent a sick aunt.�
302
00:12:58,014 --> 00:12:59,093
You lied to me.
303
00:12:59,095 --> 00:13:01,762
No! Aunt Becky is very
real and totally sick.
304
00:13:02,397 --> 00:13:04,665
�Number six, laugh way too hard
305
00:13:04,667 --> 00:13:05,699
at her jokes.�
306
00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:07,334
You're a monster.
307
00:13:08,571 --> 00:13:12,139
[laughing]
308
00:13:12,341 --> 00:13:15,272
A monster? Girl, you are too much!
309
00:13:15,734 --> 00:13:18,268
You've obviously been
taking advantage of me.
310
00:13:18,293 --> 00:13:20,860
I just hope you stocked
up on cool beans,
311
00:13:20,908 --> 00:13:22,408
'cause you are cut off.
312
00:13:25,922 --> 00:13:29,223
Okay, who started the
�cool beans� thing?
313
00:13:35,874 --> 00:13:38,772
This e-mail dump has
exposed the worst in us.
314
00:13:38,797 --> 00:13:40,964
I can't believe we pissed
off both our bosses.
315
00:13:40,989 --> 00:13:42,989
Mom was right. The
only things I'm good at
316
00:13:43,014 --> 00:13:46,467
are state capitals and
chasing away father figures.
317
00:13:47,467 --> 00:13:48,852
Maybe Jack has a point...
318
00:13:48,854 --> 00:13:51,295
We shouldn't be keeping our
thoughts from each other.
319
00:13:51,335 --> 00:13:53,279
Definitely. No more secrets.
320
00:13:53,304 --> 00:13:55,804
Agreed, with the obvious
caveats: Facebook passwords,
321
00:13:55,806 --> 00:13:58,140
ATM pins, deep romantic obsessions...
322
00:13:58,142 --> 00:13:59,675
EMMA: No, Clark.
323
00:13:59,677 --> 00:14:01,410
We need to get it all out in the open.
324
00:14:01,412 --> 00:14:03,112
I'll go first.
325
00:14:03,114 --> 00:14:05,414
Mason, I know it annoys
you when I'm late to work,
326
00:14:05,416 --> 00:14:06,682
but there is a reason.
327
00:14:06,684 --> 00:14:08,684
You can tell us. We're all friends.
328
00:14:08,686 --> 00:14:11,787
The reason is Greg...
329
00:14:12,647 --> 00:14:14,645
loves...
330
00:14:15,233 --> 00:14:16,158
morning sex.
331
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:17,893
[groans] Oh!
332
00:14:19,630 --> 00:14:21,130
- He just, like, needs me...
- [strained]: Cool!
333
00:14:21,132 --> 00:14:24,900
...on him. That's so
dope. Keep on going.
334
00:14:24,902 --> 00:14:27,503
Uh, guys, the reason I am so cheap
335
00:14:27,505 --> 00:14:31,874
is because I put most of
my money towards Aunt Becky.
336
00:14:31,876 --> 00:14:33,108
- Aw.
- Aw.
337
00:14:33,264 --> 00:14:34,576
Who is not a person.
338
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:36,812
- Aw?
- Aw?
339
00:14:36,814 --> 00:14:40,482
Aunt Becky is the
name of my party pontoon boat.
340
00:14:42,653 --> 00:14:45,020
I bought her last month, and I
wanted to tell you guys earlier,
341
00:14:45,022 --> 00:14:47,256
but my boat friends can be
a little obnoxious sometimes.
342
00:14:47,258 --> 00:14:49,792
And, well, you know
how boat friends can be.
343
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,127
All right, Clark, you're up.
344
00:14:52,129 --> 00:14:53,629
Tell us a work secret we don't know.
345
00:14:54,014 --> 00:14:57,633
Hmm, work secrets...
346
00:14:57,635 --> 00:15:01,136
Secrets at work! [grunts]
347
00:15:01,138 --> 00:15:03,605
Come on, Clark, give us
something we don't know.
348
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:09,440
Okay. Fine.
349
00:15:19,115 --> 00:15:20,956
I...
350
00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:22,818
love...
351
00:15:37,942 --> 00:15:39,675
Something special
352
00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:42,111
for a fan.
353
00:15:47,359 --> 00:15:49,051
I can't believe those little twerps
354
00:15:49,053 --> 00:15:51,031
have been taking advantage of me.
355
00:15:51,056 --> 00:15:53,466
Yeah, and I can't believe
Clark thinks I'm selfish
356
00:15:53,491 --> 00:15:55,190
and wouldn't do anything for him.
357
00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:57,426
I always thought it was
best to learn the truth,
358
00:15:57,428 --> 00:16:00,351
until it hurt someone
I truly care about...
359
00:16:01,391 --> 00:16:02,507
me.
360
00:16:03,801 --> 00:16:05,801
Well, at least you're not a doormat.
361
00:16:05,803 --> 00:16:07,703
Maybe I need a little
bit of you inside me.
362
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:10,973
You know the drill. We're
gonna have to switch to mojitos.
363
00:16:10,975 --> 00:16:12,941
No, you know what I mean.
364
00:16:12,943 --> 00:16:15,244
We can't let those kids
get the better of us.
365
00:16:15,246 --> 00:16:17,513
I need to toughen up, and
you need to be more sensitive
366
00:16:17,515 --> 00:16:18,947
to their feelings.
367
00:16:18,949 --> 00:16:22,084
So I need a little bit
of you inside of me.
368
00:16:22,086 --> 00:16:24,186
Which, as I told you at the retreat,
369
00:16:24,188 --> 00:16:26,355
I'm totally down with.
370
00:16:27,739 --> 00:16:29,224
If this is what you say out loud,
371
00:16:29,226 --> 00:16:31,260
what is your inner monologue?
372
00:16:31,262 --> 00:16:32,928
Oh, that's easy. It's the fiddle solo
373
00:16:32,930 --> 00:16:35,697
from �The Devil Went
Down to Georgia.�
374
00:16:38,804 --> 00:16:42,039
Clark Bombshell Secret Number 21...
375
00:16:43,140 --> 00:16:45,674
...I am legally blind.
376
00:16:47,062 --> 00:16:49,896
Emma, get Ricky on the computer phone.
377
00:16:52,183 --> 00:16:53,883
Wait a second.
378
00:16:53,908 --> 00:16:56,942
Aunt Becky is a boat?
379
00:16:57,962 --> 00:17:00,630
[laughing]
380
00:17:01,341 --> 00:17:02,391
A boat!
381
00:17:02,393 --> 00:17:03,997
Girl, you too much.
382
00:17:04,808 --> 00:17:08,944
But you just told me she
is real and she is sick.
383
00:17:08,969 --> 00:17:12,604
Yeah. She's a real boat,
and she is the sickest.
384
00:17:12,685 --> 00:17:16,716
Wait, so I sent flowers to a boat?
385
00:17:18,324 --> 00:17:20,661
And my boat friends adored them.
386
00:17:22,746 --> 00:17:24,913
Well, well, well, well.
387
00:17:24,915 --> 00:17:27,911
Look who came crawling back.
388
00:17:28,708 --> 00:17:31,420
Well, Ricky, it's hard to apologize
389
00:17:31,422 --> 00:17:33,852
to a guy who looks like
the one uptight employee
390
00:17:33,877 --> 00:17:35,643
at a weed dispensary.
391
00:17:37,825 --> 00:17:41,396
But I'm sorry. I-I didn't
think about your feelings.
392
00:17:41,708 --> 00:17:44,766
Oh, and I'd like to count
that as a blanket apology.
393
00:17:44,768 --> 00:17:46,468
[laughs]
394
00:17:46,470 --> 00:17:48,622
Ricky wins!
395
00:17:48,839 --> 00:17:52,273
No, I will not keep it down!
396
00:17:52,298 --> 00:17:53,664
Do you know what, Ricky?
397
00:17:53,777 --> 00:17:55,644
I'm not sorry.
398
00:17:55,646 --> 00:17:56,786
[groaning]
399
00:17:56,811 --> 00:17:59,005
This may hurt your
feelings, but it's the truth.
400
00:17:59,030 --> 00:18:01,727
You have a bad attitude, you
were terrible at your job,
401
00:18:01,752 --> 00:18:04,553
and I know you made
a doll out of my hair.
402
00:18:05,443 --> 00:18:07,923
Wow, Brooke.
403
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,739
Your straightforward approach has...
404
00:18:10,995 --> 00:18:13,262
truly shown me the error of my...
405
00:18:13,264 --> 00:18:14,263
Just kidding.
406
00:18:14,265 --> 00:18:16,529
Prepare for my final dump.
407
00:18:16,954 --> 00:18:18,119
[phones chiming]
408
00:18:18,144 --> 00:18:19,377
MALE VOICE: You've got mail.
409
00:18:19,670 --> 00:18:21,670
[chuckles]
410
00:18:22,005 --> 00:18:24,606
Brooke, what did you just do?
411
00:18:24,608 --> 00:18:27,643
What I should have done a long
time ago: stand up for myself.
412
00:18:28,198 --> 00:18:30,785
So you can tell your Aunt
Becky you won't be visiting her
413
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,348
for a while, 'cause you'll be
catching up on your missed work
414
00:18:33,350 --> 00:18:35,284
over the next eight weekends.
415
00:18:35,950 --> 00:18:39,216
But it's prime pontoon boat season!
416
00:18:40,046 --> 00:18:42,647
Oh, thank God. No new e-mails from me.
417
00:18:42,993 --> 00:18:45,627
Whoa. Check out this
one from Mason to Roland.
418
00:18:45,904 --> 00:18:47,529
�His crush on her is bad."
419
00:18:47,531 --> 00:18:49,931
�I'm worried it's
getting in the way of work."
420
00:18:49,933 --> 00:18:52,601
�I just saw him smell her
sweater after she left the room,"
421
00:18:52,603 --> 00:18:55,203
"and he's been drawing
cartoons of them kissing.�
422
00:18:56,569 --> 00:19:00,371
Yikes, that's a restraining
order waiting to happen.
423
00:19:01,478 --> 00:19:03,412
Who is this creeper?
424
00:19:05,781 --> 00:19:06,581
Wait,
425
00:19:06,583 --> 00:19:08,281
what's going on, Clark?
426
00:19:08,585 --> 00:19:10,786
[exhales] So,
427
00:19:10,788 --> 00:19:13,088
- this is...
- The creeper's me.
428
00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:15,324
Uh, it's embarrassing,
429
00:19:15,326 --> 00:19:17,959
but it-it's time to come clean.
430
00:19:17,961 --> 00:19:19,961
The e-mail's about me.
431
00:19:19,963 --> 00:19:21,630
And Brooke.
432
00:19:21,632 --> 00:19:22,698
It is?
433
00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:25,014
It is!
434
00:19:26,570 --> 00:19:29,204
A few years back, we hooked
up at a company retreat.
435
00:19:29,206 --> 00:19:30,505
It was a magical night
436
00:19:30,507 --> 00:19:33,041
with absolutely no performance issues.
437
00:19:34,885 --> 00:19:37,913
Most of that statement's true.
438
00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:39,487
So what is this e-mail about?
439
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,651
Well, uh, I developed a
bit of a crush on Brooke.
440
00:19:42,653 --> 00:19:44,853
And, I mean, I mean, who wouldn't?
441
00:19:44,855 --> 00:19:47,155
I mean, she's a perfect
combination of Lara Croft
442
00:19:47,157 --> 00:19:50,565
and a sexy librarian
who knows QuickBooks.
443
00:19:51,238 --> 00:19:55,140
So you smell Brooke's sweater
when she's not in the room?
444
00:19:55,940 --> 00:19:56,683
Yes.
445
00:19:57,701 --> 00:19:59,234
Yes, I do that.
446
00:20:00,245 --> 00:20:01,204
But it's okay.
447
00:20:01,229 --> 00:20:02,371
- We're-we're all good now.
- Yeah.
448
00:20:02,373 --> 00:20:04,039
That's right. It's all in the past.
449
00:20:04,041 --> 00:20:06,308
As is this.
450
00:20:06,310 --> 00:20:08,777
We are starting with a clean slate.
451
00:20:08,779 --> 00:20:11,480
No more grudges, no secrets.
452
00:20:11,482 --> 00:20:13,782
Thanks for taking that
truth bullet for me.
453
00:20:13,784 --> 00:20:16,351
Hey, I've been hard on you,
454
00:20:16,353 --> 00:20:18,720
so I just want to say I'm sorry...
455
00:20:18,722 --> 00:20:21,056
- It's okay, Jack.
- ...that you're such a baby.
456
00:20:21,981 --> 00:20:23,625
So, going forward,
457
00:20:23,778 --> 00:20:27,229
I'm gonna be more sensitive
to your little baby bottom.
458
00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:30,770
Hey, guys, we got work to do.
459
00:20:31,068 --> 00:20:33,068
That was very sweet, Jack.
460
00:20:33,070 --> 00:20:34,936
For someone who insists
on telling the truth,
461
00:20:34,938 --> 00:20:37,200
those lies came pretty easy.
462
00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:39,574
Brooke, um,
463
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,739
I lie to you all the time.
464
00:20:43,747 --> 00:20:45,113
Peace out, Cool Beans.
465
00:20:45,163 --> 00:20:49,713
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